Feb. 2009 questions
Dear Margarete,
I am not seeing anything better happening in my career, I am very stuck in a boring job. I tried to see if my boss could give me some different projects (I’m an administrative assistant), but he’s not really seemed interested in helping with this. I totally hate going in to work now. My boyfriend complains that I’m bitchy most of the time but he doesn’t listen when I try to tell him how upsetting this is. I used to like my line of work but that’s all changed now. I can’t afford to quit & go to school for something else. I feel very trapped. How can I get out from under?
Sally
Dear Sally,
First, I applaud you for being proactive & trying to challenge yourself professionally. Many people become complacent with their job & may not care about contributing to their workplace. That said, I would not yet give up, since there seems to be some room for making changes; your boss just hasn’t recognized this or he may be underestimating what you can do. Catch him at the right moment – not when he’s super busy or visibly stressed – & give him some concrete, specific examples of what you can do to support him & the company. Give this some real thought, not just ‘I want more challenge.’ You may need to ‘sell yourself’ & be assertive with getting his attention. It may be worthwhile to invest some time in preparing some work samples or offer to do something extra for a current project, to showcase your skills. Ask about additional training. Your HR department may offer professional development assistance or in-house training opportunities. It doesn’t hurt to check out programs that may be of interest to you at local community colleges. While you explore options with your current employer, you can still update your resume & network to see what other jobs are available. This is a tough economy, so patience & finding other rewarding outlets to counter your disappointments or boredom at work are a must. As for your boyfriend, he may find it hard to listen if you are in a “bitchy” mood, instead of calmly talking to him about the frustrations. Guys want to fix things; they can feel helpless when they hear the negative stuff, so ask him to help with some ideas & networking support.
Dear Margarete,
A guy wrote in a couple months ago about losing a lot of money in the market and how this snow-balled to where he couldn’t pay expenses. I thought, what a jerk, if he played the market and took those chances. Well, I’m in the same boat, not because I played the market, but because I also had high credit balances on several cards & I got notices about lowered limits & I’m falling behind on paying. Now I feel like an idiot. I share a place with 2 friends; I owe them some money, now their pissed at me, so that’s another big problem. I can’t bring myself to tell anybody, so I’m writing in.
Broke Bill
Dear Bill,
You can’t shut out the world & wait for the storm to pass on this one. You need to read up on financial issues, watch some of the very good news specials on getting out of debt & becoming financially responsible, & talk with your bank & credit companies about loan consolidation and payment options. This includes prioritizing which cards to pay off first – usually the one(s) with the highest interest, trying to negotiate a new rate, & how to allocate whatever income you put toward payments so that you are bringing balances down. It means budgeting & looking at every little expense, & cutting back on expenses, even if this stinks. You do need to talk to your buddies about a payment plan as well. Loaning or borrowing money from friends or family can get tricky, but people often do need to go to them when financial problems come up & other solutions just aren’t there. So take responsibility & talk to them about your situation & ways to make progress on repaying them. I don’t know your line of work, but people can get creative & trade services, like fixing a car, home repair, painting, whatever. We all know how much this stuff costs, so think outside the box & be a good friend to these guys.
Dear Margarete,
I am not seeing anything better happening in my career, I am very stuck in a boring job. I tried to see if my boss could give me some different projects (I’m an administrative assistant), but he’s not really seemed interested in helping with this. I totally hate going in to work now. My boyfriend complains that I’m bitchy most of the time but he doesn’t listen when I try to tell him how upsetting this is. I used to like my line of work but that’s all changed now. I can’t afford to quit & go to school for something else. I feel very trapped. How can I get out from under?
Sally
Dear Sally,
First, I applaud you for being proactive & trying to challenge yourself professionally. Many people become complacent with their job & may not care about contributing to their workplace. That said, I would not yet give up, since there seems to be some room for making changes; your boss just hasn’t recognized this or he may be underestimating what you can do. Catch him at the right moment – not when he’s super busy or visibly stressed – & give him some concrete, specific examples of what you can do to support him & the company. Give this some real thought, not just ‘I want more challenge.’ You may need to ‘sell yourself’ & be assertive with getting his attention. It may be worthwhile to invest some time in preparing some work samples or offer to do something extra for a current project, to showcase your skills. Ask about additional training. Your HR department may offer professional development assistance or in-house training opportunities. It doesn’t hurt to check out programs that may be of interest to you at local community colleges. While you explore options with your current employer, you can still update your resume & network to see what other jobs are available. This is a tough economy, so patience & finding other rewarding outlets to counter your disappointments or boredom at work are a must. As for your boyfriend, he may find it hard to listen if you are in a “bitchy” mood, instead of calmly talking to him about the frustrations. Guys want to fix things; they can feel helpless when they hear the negative stuff, so ask him to help with some ideas & networking support.
Dear Margarete,
A guy wrote in a couple months ago about losing a lot of money in the market and how this snow-balled to where he couldn’t pay expenses. I thought, what a jerk, if he played the market and took those chances. Well, I’m in the same boat, not because I played the market, but because I also had high credit balances on several cards & I got notices about lowered limits & I’m falling behind on paying. Now I feel like an idiot. I share a place with 2 friends; I owe them some money, now their pissed at me, so that’s another big problem. I can’t bring myself to tell anybody, so I’m writing in.
Broke Bill
Dear Bill,
You can’t shut out the world & wait for the storm to pass on this one. You need to read up on financial issues, watch some of the very good news specials on getting out of debt & becoming financially responsible, & talk with your bank & credit companies about loan consolidation and payment options. This includes prioritizing which cards to pay off first – usually the one(s) with the highest interest, trying to negotiate a new rate, & how to allocate whatever income you put toward payments so that you are bringing balances down. It means budgeting & looking at every little expense, & cutting back on expenses, even if this stinks. You do need to talk to your buddies about a payment plan as well. Loaning or borrowing money from friends or family can get tricky, but people often do need to go to them when financial problems come up & other solutions just aren’t there. So take responsibility & talk to them about your situation & ways to make progress on repaying them. I don’t know your line of work, but people can get creative & trade services, like fixing a car, home repair, painting, whatever. We all know how much this stuff costs, so think outside the box & be a good friend to these guys.
