In Orland Park, pool tables are banned from public places as they could support gambling. (I guess they would be alright if lottery tickets were sold at the same location.)
In Normal, it is illegal to make faces at dogs. (Although personally I think that it should be illegal for people to bark at dogs. Have you ever seen children or moronic adults that bark back at “yappie” dogs?
In Ottowa, it is illegal to spit on the sidewalk. Spitting on grass, carpet, public lobbies, or an ex’s face is ok, though.
Before you visit Moline, make sure that you have your GPS set. It is illegal in Moline to aimlessly drive around town. I wonder if that applies to college students after a frat party.
This one is for my daughter who happens to be a figure skater. Amber, if you ever visit Moline, it is illegal for you to skate on the Riverside Pond in July and August, the hottest months of the year.
In Peoria, it is illegal to install a basketball hoop on your driveway. My hunch is that too many Peorians tried to decorate them for Christmas.
In Horner, only police officers can use slingshots. I wonder if there is a waiting period to get one.
In Galesberg, it is illegal, in fact it is a $1,000.00 fine, to beat a mouse with a baseball bat. ‘Nuff said.
In Evanston, bowling is prohibited. Great. Now I’ll have to go somewhere else for my midget bowling tournaments.
In Crete, it is illegal to drive your car through town. Maybe they should also adopt Moline’s law about driving around aimlessly. Then they could arrest everybody.
Finally, in Galesberg, it is illegal to have a smelly cock. No, you pervert. I’m talking about a foul cock. I mean fowl, like a rooster cock. In case you think that I’m making this up, here is the statute: Sec. 4-6. Noise, odor, etc.
No person shall keep or maintain any animal, poultry or fowl in such a manner to cause inconvenience or disturbance to other persons by reason of noise, odor or other cause. (Ord. No. 84-935, .0311, 2-20-84)
HAPPY OCTOBER AND HAVE A GREAT HALLOWEEN!
In Normal, it is illegal to make faces at dogs. (Although personally I think that it should be illegal for people to bark at dogs. Have you ever seen children or moronic adults that bark back at “yappie” dogs?
In Ottowa, it is illegal to spit on the sidewalk. Spitting on grass, carpet, public lobbies, or an ex’s face is ok, though.
Before you visit Moline, make sure that you have your GPS set. It is illegal in Moline to aimlessly drive around town. I wonder if that applies to college students after a frat party.
This one is for my daughter who happens to be a figure skater. Amber, if you ever visit Moline, it is illegal for you to skate on the Riverside Pond in July and August, the hottest months of the year.
In Peoria, it is illegal to install a basketball hoop on your driveway. My hunch is that too many Peorians tried to decorate them for Christmas.
In Horner, only police officers can use slingshots. I wonder if there is a waiting period to get one.
In Galesberg, it is illegal, in fact it is a $1,000.00 fine, to beat a mouse with a baseball bat. ‘Nuff said.
In Evanston, bowling is prohibited. Great. Now I’ll have to go somewhere else for my midget bowling tournaments.
In Crete, it is illegal to drive your car through town. Maybe they should also adopt Moline’s law about driving around aimlessly. Then they could arrest everybody.
Finally, in Galesberg, it is illegal to have a smelly cock. No, you pervert. I’m talking about a foul cock. I mean fowl, like a rooster cock. In case you think that I’m making this up, here is the statute: Sec. 4-6. Noise, odor, etc.
No person shall keep or maintain any animal, poultry or fowl in such a manner to cause inconvenience or disturbance to other persons by reason of noise, odor or other cause. (Ord. No. 84-935, .0311, 2-20-84)
HAPPY OCTOBER AND HAVE A GREAT HALLOWEEN!
athompson999@mail.com
