Recently I’ve been seeing a lot of sweet man hair. All manner of amazing facial hair has been frolicking before my eyes. Wow, that sounds really gay or that I’m dating a chick with stubble, well let’s just say high school was a sad and awkward time for me and my high school sweetheart had an overactive follicle hormone. She was cute, just hairy. I’ve seen a lot of bad hair face hair in my time but lately it’s been astounding.
The man-dude who takes the cake would have to be Mattias who is a Swedish musician on an exchange program in China. His stache is glorious in nature and I am humbled by its strength and magnificence. This guy is a great singer/songwriter who will be huge in the States someday so get on the bandwagon now so in a couple of years you can tell your lame friends, “oh yeah, I totally have known about Super Swede Stache Mattias for like ages now.. yeah I’ve got some of his early stuff on my i-phone.. paaashaw.”
I’ve been dreaming of the day when I too could scare men and excite ladies with my Handlebar stash yet that day has still not arrived. I’ve just been shaving peach fuzz since I was fourteen. After all these years of shaving and placing miracle grow on my face my stache still has not connected to my chin hair. I’ve even tried Rogain For Faces. Nothing. Right by the corner of my lips is a no man’s hairs land. No hair-bridge for me unlike my friend Dan who recently was sporting a solid Handlebar Stache which scared the crap out of us on poker night. His naked middle chin was just mocking us. He kept looking over his cards like he was full of Aces and about to punch anyone who didn’t believe him. Grow a Stache and your poker face is set. Crazy cowboy staches like that should come with a can of Skoal because that is the look you’re gonna get, the Dirty Dipper.
Sadly many Chinese boys and men attempt to have facial hair and it is really a sad sight. Like my Mexican brothers they suffer from the lightweight Caterpillar attacking upper lip syndrome. Many Chinese are very fond of their Mole Staches where inch long clumps of mole hairs tell everyone that you are wise beyond your years. The more facial hair you have the older and wiser you must be. This can lead to problems when American kids act up. A 16 year old American kid got beat up because the security guards thought he was ‘of age’, as in the age where it’s appropriate to beat one up, or in Alabama, that’d be at birth. Incidentally, Alabama babies also come out of the womb with full blown Van Dycks on their wee faces and I still have to use a Sharpie to fill in the blotchy spots.
The man-dude who takes the cake would have to be Mattias who is a Swedish musician on an exchange program in China. His stache is glorious in nature and I am humbled by its strength and magnificence. This guy is a great singer/songwriter who will be huge in the States someday so get on the bandwagon now so in a couple of years you can tell your lame friends, “oh yeah, I totally have known about Super Swede Stache Mattias for like ages now.. yeah I’ve got some of his early stuff on my i-phone.. paaashaw.”
I’ve been dreaming of the day when I too could scare men and excite ladies with my Handlebar stash yet that day has still not arrived. I’ve just been shaving peach fuzz since I was fourteen. After all these years of shaving and placing miracle grow on my face my stache still has not connected to my chin hair. I’ve even tried Rogain For Faces. Nothing. Right by the corner of my lips is a no man’s hairs land. No hair-bridge for me unlike my friend Dan who recently was sporting a solid Handlebar Stache which scared the crap out of us on poker night. His naked middle chin was just mocking us. He kept looking over his cards like he was full of Aces and about to punch anyone who didn’t believe him. Grow a Stache and your poker face is set. Crazy cowboy staches like that should come with a can of Skoal because that is the look you’re gonna get, the Dirty Dipper.
Sadly many Chinese boys and men attempt to have facial hair and it is really a sad sight. Like my Mexican brothers they suffer from the lightweight Caterpillar attacking upper lip syndrome. Many Chinese are very fond of their Mole Staches where inch long clumps of mole hairs tell everyone that you are wise beyond your years. The more facial hair you have the older and wiser you must be. This can lead to problems when American kids act up. A 16 year old American kid got beat up because the security guards thought he was ‘of age’, as in the age where it’s appropriate to beat one up, or in Alabama, that’d be at birth. Incidentally, Alabama babies also come out of the womb with full blown Van Dycks on their wee faces and I still have to use a Sharpie to fill in the blotchy spots.
