With the summer weather fully open us it’s time when dry feet, and ashy elbows go bare and depending upon where you live or work other tawdry parts make unwelcome appearances. Everything from the belly hanging over the belt midriff display to the back butt baby bump. We all agree, some rules are made to be broken but when it comes to the dress code at your work sometimes it should be adhered to on some level.
Most people despise their dress codes. Most life sucking computer staring corporate jobs I’ve had I was told it was ‘business casual’. First off, what in the blue blazes is that crap? It is utterly indefinable. Nothing literal but it’s somewhere in-between dressing like enough of a chump that you don’t have your own office upstairs and enough of a tool that you don’t work downstairs in the basement. As much as wearing a monkey suit all day would make me take my tie off and hang my closest annoying co-zombie it would be better than trying to figure out if my one accidentally upturned collar was within management defined dress code parameters for ‘biz cas’.
Working for an uncool .com in the city there was this one ‘team lead’ nutjob who reprimanded me for my shoes because they looked too much like sneakers. Unsurprisingly he looked like he just stepped out of the Sears catalogue for Hefty Kids and incidentally that’s where he received his ever important management training skills. “Hey der, could I get a price check on this Craftsman power tool and this umm ah push down bra, let’s get a move on guys, look busy!” It’s always a touch ironic to have ones dress selection scolded by some beer bellied beached whaled buffoon with his belt over his belly button. When you spend the coin on the Abercrombie and Fitch khakis for non gays you want to show them off even if that precludes stretching them from belly to floor.
Either way when the dress code goes awry in the summer you learn things about people you never knew like: Bob has inordinate amount of chest hair in relation to the lack there of on his head. Also, his gold eagle necklace defines sexy. Or for the ladies: Donna has inordinate amounts of chest hair despite the fact she has apparently equal amounts coming out of her left nostril which makes her nose ring look all the more barf inducing. Also for those of you who didn’t get the mass email I CC’d you, it’s flip flops not thongs. Flip flops and thongs is what I wear to the beach whereas flip flops, thongs, and hip hugger blue jeans is what I wear on casual Friday, yes along with my customary Hawaiian Shirt and Jimmy Buffet hat. Come on, let’s keep casual Friday casual and not Fright Flesh Fest Friday. Its summer, limited clothing should be enjoying outside, preferably away from large groups of people or in the privacy of your own home. We all thank you.
Most people despise their dress codes. Most life sucking computer staring corporate jobs I’ve had I was told it was ‘business casual’. First off, what in the blue blazes is that crap? It is utterly indefinable. Nothing literal but it’s somewhere in-between dressing like enough of a chump that you don’t have your own office upstairs and enough of a tool that you don’t work downstairs in the basement. As much as wearing a monkey suit all day would make me take my tie off and hang my closest annoying co-zombie it would be better than trying to figure out if my one accidentally upturned collar was within management defined dress code parameters for ‘biz cas’.
Working for an uncool .com in the city there was this one ‘team lead’ nutjob who reprimanded me for my shoes because they looked too much like sneakers. Unsurprisingly he looked like he just stepped out of the Sears catalogue for Hefty Kids and incidentally that’s where he received his ever important management training skills. “Hey der, could I get a price check on this Craftsman power tool and this umm ah push down bra, let’s get a move on guys, look busy!” It’s always a touch ironic to have ones dress selection scolded by some beer bellied beached whaled buffoon with his belt over his belly button. When you spend the coin on the Abercrombie and Fitch khakis for non gays you want to show them off even if that precludes stretching them from belly to floor.
Either way when the dress code goes awry in the summer you learn things about people you never knew like: Bob has inordinate amount of chest hair in relation to the lack there of on his head. Also, his gold eagle necklace defines sexy. Or for the ladies: Donna has inordinate amounts of chest hair despite the fact she has apparently equal amounts coming out of her left nostril which makes her nose ring look all the more barf inducing. Also for those of you who didn’t get the mass email I CC’d you, it’s flip flops not thongs. Flip flops and thongs is what I wear to the beach whereas flip flops, thongs, and hip hugger blue jeans is what I wear on casual Friday, yes along with my customary Hawaiian Shirt and Jimmy Buffet hat. Come on, let’s keep casual Friday casual and not Fright Flesh Fest Friday. Its summer, limited clothing should be enjoying outside, preferably away from large groups of people or in the privacy of your own home. We all thank you.
